We now somewhat understand the concept that beyond survival needs, money only contributes a certain amount to our happiness (and beyond aprox. $75,000/year income it basically has no power to increase our happiness at all). We've also quickly covered the point that you must learn to appreciate what you already have and the importance of increasing your ABILITY to FEEL happiness.
We've mentioned the role of genetics on happiness and the large 40% area where we CAN indeed increase our happiness.
These have just been very thumbnail, brief introductions, and most likely you still need considerably more convincing and further HE in these areas. But at least I think you're starting to get the idea and plant the seeds in your mind.
Now let's discuss a little further about the nature of happiness and an introduction to some simple HQ level increasing methods.
OK, Let's begin increasing our HQ. I will give you a little information that can begin to effect a partial paradigm shift and better realizations of reality. This can begin to increase your minute by minute happiness levels, and through daily/hourly remembrance, can eventually increase your overall HQ as well.
So if a high income level and high IQ (and even a high EQ) don't necessarily improve our sustainable happiness levels, then what will make us happy!?
Basically, it is our thinking: The happy person is the one that thinks he/she is happy.
You obviously won't feel happy if you think you're unhappy and if you focus on bad instead of good, want more instead of wanting/being thankful for what you have, think life is unfair instead of realizing that it is much fairer for you than for most other people in this world etc..
There are, of course, other important adjustments that increase our ABILITY to feel happiness. including not only attitude changes but actual reality checks and paradigm shifts. Other important areas are the health of our mind, body and spirit (we'll talk more about these later).
There is also the all important area of "getting/making a life". Besides changing our thinking and attitudes, we also need to fill our lives with positive activities that improve us, others and that we enjoy. DON"T JUST SIT AROUND! Get involved. Take some dance or music lessons, attend various activities and groups, play some sports, get involved in some services that you enjoy. More on this later.
For now, let's work on things we can do where we are, with just our minds...
With all of the above information in mind, let's start playing what I term "THE HAPPINESS GAME" (and work towards becoming a "Happiness Pro" by developing a truly high HQ). We begin by raising our present happiness level (0-10) by changing our focus/thinking from minute to minute. For example:
When our second daughter was around 3 or 4 years old and would begin to cry because she was frustrated or wanted something, I would pull out my watch and pointing at it, say, "can you cry for 30 seconds longer and cry even harder!?" Of course as I egged her on and asked her to get into it even more and cry even longer, she would finally blurt out NO, I won't!! and we would refocus her on something else and usually have her laughing within a minute. We've all seen how children can be crying one minute and laughing the next. They still keep things simple by focusing/concentrating on one thing at a time.
This "watch method" is one of many methods of quickly changing your feelings. Just time and challenge yourself to change your focus and feelings quickly. Make it a game (and a stimulating challenge). Don't be a slave to your emotions ("Man's chief enslaver is fear and his greatest weakness is pride.").
Also, uplifting music, deep breathing, meditation/prayer, going out for a walk or talking with a POSITVE friend, can all be helpful.
So why spend hours or days feeling bad, when it's under your control to literally change your feelings in minutes. Life is too short. Stop whining and feeling sorry for yourself. Look around the world (Iraq, Afganistan, Libya, Haiti, etc.) and realize most, if not all of your supposed problems are very minor when compared to much of the rest of the world. This realization has been very useful to me and many others in getting us back to the reality that "we shouldn't sweat the small stuff; and it's all small stuff!". Especially when living in a modern nation.
More information on happiness thinking and what I call "THANKFUL COMPARISONS"
As we get older, we develop the ability to think of the past, future and multiple things in short time spans. This can serve us well if it is controlled. But when we are on auto pilot, our brain tends to follow bad thinking habits we've developed that often take us toward negative thoughts and a focus on the bad rather than the good in our circumstances. Some studies show that of the 20,000 to 60,000 thoughts we think a day, over 80% are negative (so we must learn how to change our self talk- more later).
We've all heard of focusing on our glass as half full rather than half empty. Actually in our case, since we live in a modern nation with all of our physical needs of food and shelter being met, our glass is probably about 90% full compared to most of the world.
Next time you're going through your mind thinking of all that's you consider bad in your life, reflect on how you would feel explaining your supposed problems to a person in a 3rd world country who's living in a dirt shack (or homeless) and doesn't know when they'll have their next meal (not to mention the fear of being beaten, kidnapped, raped or even killed as is the case in many of the war torn countries).
How embarrassing we would feel telling them our "big problems". Their first thought would certainly be, "PLEASE let me live with just your little problems and I will be the happiest person alive!"
Realizing this true reality, that we really do have a great life compared to millions of our unfortunate sisters and brothers, can help us put things into perspective and realize how fortunate we really are. This THANKFUL comparison method of comparing to a situation much worse, can immediately increase your happiness level (whereas WANT comparisons- to people who have more, will always make you feel worse).
Note: You can be even more THANKFUL by also remembering times in your past that were much worse, and by being appreciative of your body and realizing, for example, that with a simple accident (like Christopher Reeves becoming a parapalegic), we could instantly be in a situation where we might longingly look back on how wonderful it was when we had the use of our arms, legs, eyes, hearing etc. Interestingly, people who have lost one or more of these, are often actually able to learn to focus even better on the positive (and spiritual aspects of life) to where they sometimes become even happier than they were before.
When we think about these obvious "Thankful Comparisons", we are LOGICALLY compelled to acknowledge that we do have a pretty nice life, and further logic should tell us that we'd be very ungrateful and unthinking to complain about our minor problems living in a modern, free nation (AND we can now, even console ourselves in the knowledge that even those billionaires are not that happy-- and all we need be envious of is perhaps the person with a high HQ).
So in playing the happiness game, we can use logic to first first shock ourselves back into reality and realize how good our situation really is (and that the rest of our happiness is under our own control and lies within our mind/thinking).
Then we must discipline our minds to focus on things that make us feel appreciative and happier. We must learn to "really want what we already have". This is a discipline (and a habit). One of the reasons I entitled my book, "The 10 Habits of Happy People" is that we must make these positive ways of thinking into habitual good habits (you've probably spent years/decades developing bad/negative thinking habits, now change them to positive, high HQ habits). This will do far more for your personal happiness level than just making more money!
More on this later (and lots of fun happiness excercises to develop your new, high powered HQ mind).
*And here is one of the great secrets that needs to be thoroughly understood and developed-- ALL HAPPINESS IS FELT IN THE MIND (it's always HOW you interpret your external world). You may not fully fathom this great truth yet, but by the time you've learned more HE and practiced the HQ increasing methods, you will experientially KNOW this great truth (and have a great advantage over those who do not). You CAN be happy right here, right now, AS IS!
© Copyright 1998−2011 Edward Southwick Jr. & Life Success Institute Ltd. All Rights Reserved
We've mentioned the role of genetics on happiness and the large 40% area where we CAN indeed increase our happiness.
These have just been very thumbnail, brief introductions, and most likely you still need considerably more convincing and further HE in these areas. But at least I think you're starting to get the idea and plant the seeds in your mind.
Now let's discuss a little further about the nature of happiness and an introduction to some simple HQ level increasing methods.
OK, Let's begin increasing our HQ. I will give you a little information that can begin to effect a partial paradigm shift and better realizations of reality. This can begin to increase your minute by minute happiness levels, and through daily/hourly remembrance, can eventually increase your overall HQ as well.
So if a high income level and high IQ (and even a high EQ) don't necessarily improve our sustainable happiness levels, then what will make us happy!?
Basically, it is our thinking: The happy person is the one that thinks he/she is happy.
You obviously won't feel happy if you think you're unhappy and if you focus on bad instead of good, want more instead of wanting/being thankful for what you have, think life is unfair instead of realizing that it is much fairer for you than for most other people in this world etc..
There are, of course, other important adjustments that increase our ABILITY to feel happiness. including not only attitude changes but actual reality checks and paradigm shifts. Other important areas are the health of our mind, body and spirit (we'll talk more about these later).
There is also the all important area of "getting/making a life". Besides changing our thinking and attitudes, we also need to fill our lives with positive activities that improve us, others and that we enjoy. DON"T JUST SIT AROUND! Get involved. Take some dance or music lessons, attend various activities and groups, play some sports, get involved in some services that you enjoy. More on this later.
For now, let's work on things we can do where we are, with just our minds...
With all of the above information in mind, let's start playing what I term "THE HAPPINESS GAME" (and work towards becoming a "Happiness Pro" by developing a truly high HQ). We begin by raising our present happiness level (0-10) by changing our focus/thinking from minute to minute. For example:
When our second daughter was around 3 or 4 years old and would begin to cry because she was frustrated or wanted something, I would pull out my watch and pointing at it, say, "can you cry for 30 seconds longer and cry even harder!?" Of course as I egged her on and asked her to get into it even more and cry even longer, she would finally blurt out NO, I won't!! and we would refocus her on something else and usually have her laughing within a minute. We've all seen how children can be crying one minute and laughing the next. They still keep things simple by focusing/concentrating on one thing at a time.
This "watch method" is one of many methods of quickly changing your feelings. Just time and challenge yourself to change your focus and feelings quickly. Make it a game (and a stimulating challenge). Don't be a slave to your emotions ("Man's chief enslaver is fear and his greatest weakness is pride.").
Also, uplifting music, deep breathing, meditation/prayer, going out for a walk or talking with a POSITVE friend, can all be helpful.
So why spend hours or days feeling bad, when it's under your control to literally change your feelings in minutes. Life is too short. Stop whining and feeling sorry for yourself. Look around the world (Iraq, Afganistan, Libya, Haiti, etc.) and realize most, if not all of your supposed problems are very minor when compared to much of the rest of the world. This realization has been very useful to me and many others in getting us back to the reality that "we shouldn't sweat the small stuff; and it's all small stuff!". Especially when living in a modern nation.
More information on happiness thinking and what I call "THANKFUL COMPARISONS"
As we get older, we develop the ability to think of the past, future and multiple things in short time spans. This can serve us well if it is controlled. But when we are on auto pilot, our brain tends to follow bad thinking habits we've developed that often take us toward negative thoughts and a focus on the bad rather than the good in our circumstances. Some studies show that of the 20,000 to 60,000 thoughts we think a day, over 80% are negative (so we must learn how to change our self talk- more later).
We've all heard of focusing on our glass as half full rather than half empty. Actually in our case, since we live in a modern nation with all of our physical needs of food and shelter being met, our glass is probably about 90% full compared to most of the world.
Next time you're going through your mind thinking of all that's you consider bad in your life, reflect on how you would feel explaining your supposed problems to a person in a 3rd world country who's living in a dirt shack (or homeless) and doesn't know when they'll have their next meal (not to mention the fear of being beaten, kidnapped, raped or even killed as is the case in many of the war torn countries).
How embarrassing we would feel telling them our "big problems". Their first thought would certainly be, "PLEASE let me live with just your little problems and I will be the happiest person alive!"
Realizing this true reality, that we really do have a great life compared to millions of our unfortunate sisters and brothers, can help us put things into perspective and realize how fortunate we really are. This THANKFUL comparison method of comparing to a situation much worse, can immediately increase your happiness level (whereas WANT comparisons- to people who have more, will always make you feel worse).
Note: You can be even more THANKFUL by also remembering times in your past that were much worse, and by being appreciative of your body and realizing, for example, that with a simple accident (like Christopher Reeves becoming a parapalegic), we could instantly be in a situation where we might longingly look back on how wonderful it was when we had the use of our arms, legs, eyes, hearing etc. Interestingly, people who have lost one or more of these, are often actually able to learn to focus even better on the positive (and spiritual aspects of life) to where they sometimes become even happier than they were before.
When we think about these obvious "Thankful Comparisons", we are LOGICALLY compelled to acknowledge that we do have a pretty nice life, and further logic should tell us that we'd be very ungrateful and unthinking to complain about our minor problems living in a modern, free nation (AND we can now, even console ourselves in the knowledge that even those billionaires are not that happy-- and all we need be envious of is perhaps the person with a high HQ).
So in playing the happiness game, we can use logic to first first shock ourselves back into reality and realize how good our situation really is (and that the rest of our happiness is under our own control and lies within our mind/thinking).
Then we must discipline our minds to focus on things that make us feel appreciative and happier. We must learn to "really want what we already have". This is a discipline (and a habit). One of the reasons I entitled my book, "The 10 Habits of Happy People" is that we must make these positive ways of thinking into habitual good habits (you've probably spent years/decades developing bad/negative thinking habits, now change them to positive, high HQ habits). This will do far more for your personal happiness level than just making more money!
More on this later (and lots of fun happiness excercises to develop your new, high powered HQ mind).
*And here is one of the great secrets that needs to be thoroughly understood and developed-- ALL HAPPINESS IS FELT IN THE MIND (it's always HOW you interpret your external world). You may not fully fathom this great truth yet, but by the time you've learned more HE and practiced the HQ increasing methods, you will experientially KNOW this great truth (and have a great advantage over those who do not). You CAN be happy right here, right now, AS IS!
© Copyright 1998−2011 Edward Southwick Jr. & Life Success Institute Ltd. All Rights Reserved
